My birthday and another year older and wiser and all that sort of thing, well ok i can go with the older thing but wiser?? hmm well if people say thats true then it must be and i guess that means i am ...... tho steve would probably scoff at that <smiles>, well he surprised me with a great big bunch of flowers delieved to my door, a dozen white rose buds, the only flowers i really like and i adore them, they are sort of like me.... innocent , so big thank u and lots of kisses Steve, love u loads and zillions and will be on my best behaviour now for ages and be all u deserve and want (well, whats new) (coughs). Also had lots of lovely gifts from my kids and friends...... its nice being spoilt, i think i could get used to this hehe, ok well perhaps i dont deserve it.......... yet, so i guess i'll just continue to sort of spoil myself (smiles)

My journey is going well at the mo, and altho i have still got a very long way to go im enjoying the progress i feel i am making, as im sure others are as well,lol. Ok yes i still have hiccups here and there, ok and perhaps everywhere and quite often, but i am what i am, and usually try my best

Right im off for a lunch date with some friends, i shall be doing a very long post later so pleeeeeese come back and send me lots of nice emails n things.

Thank u for your ongoing support and comments, it means a lot to us both. Bright blessings..... Kiri

Hellooooooooo to all and a big massive thank you to all the many messages of support, i have i think answered most of them....please be patient if i havent i will get round to it, ha ha....well come on u should know by now what im like.

Has been a wonderfully hectic last couple of months and life is truly abfabalistic, well ish. Steve and i continue to grow along our path and experience lots of new and exciting things, and with his support i am continuing to be what i strive to be. ............ok well i shant sort of make out im perrrrfect, actually a long way off (giggles) but its that sort of thing tht makes this path soooo much more fun.

And yes...in answer to all ur mail thingys i promise i will be devoting more time to this, its just been so hectic and we tend to be out more than we are in lately but steve has had a good talking to me and told me i really must increase my time spent on this....or he'll be very cross with me! (smiles)

Anyway big hugs to all my regular viewers to this blog thingy, i am still truly amazed and inspired by your kind comments and my site is getting between 2-5000 hits a day now which is brillistic x...........obviously i take the good with the bad and am always open to peoples opinions.....therefore in reply to "kathys" (but we all know who u really are little miss happiness) ........my children are all very proud of what steve and i have done and continue to do, obviously they are aware fully of the prejudice we have faced by certain petty minded individuals with little else to do in lie but try and cause upset to ours....its very sad, and i truly pity them. I could of course delete the tag messages that are left but i have no interest in it, as i have stated people are entitled to their opinions. My children are 100% supportive of ALL our actions for they are adult enough to understand we hurt nobody with our choice of lifestyle, they are also aware as are most that my site is an adult site therefore not designed for children to peruse and one would assume that parents would ensure parental control of content viewed by children..... phew deep breath smiles................. lets face it the adult world is a strange one!! So thank you for your question dear and also thank you for your interest in my journal and steve and my personal lives, it is indeed a wonderful and varied one and filled with a great deal of deep love and understanding, one such as we have both never experienced before and indeed feel very fortunate to experience.

Right......... i shall defo be posting more regular on here now as i have had a stern talking to and have a reddened arse to prove it ...well actually its more....

Thanks again to everyone, i have lots to write about so please come back again daily to see my updates. Big hugs, kisses and bratty wishes

Bright blessings to all.......... (yes, even u little miss happiness! x)

I have decided i dont like parties. Well party type of thingys  whereby u plan a nice quiet night and then slowly the night turns into a house filled frenzy! Well that sort of thing. The trouble with them is that they sort of blow my good intends straight out of the window. I suppose i ought to be a little more disciplined ....well i guess thats sort of stating the obvious anyway,lol, i do actually start off quite firm, sticking to my one glass of wine and declining all other offers <ws> but then slowly upon slowly my good resolve goes to pot! ...and it isnt even my fault when i think about it, its people!...people who wont accept no for an answer and decide i do indeed need another drink, admittedly perhaps my sulking in the corner might send their pityful glances my way...but who am i to overly refuse, its bad manners after all. So what happens is a bottle of voddie later and enough red bull to turn a hedgehog sonic, im well away, i quite often turn into a butterfly, and most who know me now accept that an evening of drinking will result in my becoming anything other than what i am or whatever it is takes me at that particular moment,,,,, anyway this weekend it was the butterfly fluttering my arms that have turned into wings and generally propbably driving everyone up the wall. I am always in exeptionally good spirits when i drink....however i am also brutally honest and will in an instant unleash a tongue bashing on whom so ever i have decided deserves it. I think Steve thinks i am a little mad, my son and his mates seem to find it hysterical and go into cuddle me mode, my daughter and her mates tend to hide for fear i will have them all doing the butterfly ball and my friends just sort of humour me, well my vanilla friends humour me, others are not perhaps so resilliant to the babblings of a mad woman! But on a good point i dont overly care what people think of me,as long as my family are happy then im happy, i generally get on with anyone , probably because i just waffle away to them about abso anything until they exhaustedly and probably pityfully collapse into a 'we love you' kind of mode!

Anyway i have broken all my rules and all my resolution thingys this weekend , i crawled into bed yesterday morning at 6 a.m, collapsed upon steve and demanded the sopranos was put on for me to blissfully drift off to! Obviously he did decide to indulge himself in the comatozed bitch beside him but who am i to complain  Saturday was a day of extreme suffering, paracetimals and failed tasks. Fortunately i was thoroughly pampered back to health <smiles>, tho had to undergo a severe telephone convo with Master who reminded me firmly of my failings. I shall be meeting with him on Monday to discuss further as i was unfortunately unable to make yesterdays planned meeting. So i have now got to focus on my failed tasks which probably means im going to be up til bloody four a.m !!!

So......... ive now decided i shant accept any more invites or party type nights as they only lead to me getting into trouble.....leaving me thoroughly remorseful

Blessings to all x B.L x

Happy new year to all, and brightest blessings for the year ahead.

Its been a wild and wicked past few days and i am actually quite relieved that Christmas and New Year is now over....... not that i dont love that time of year but its also nice to sit back with a glass of wine and sigh deeply in a sort of contented way and look forward to all this year might bring. I have over indulged in just about everything.... partied too hard, had hangovers galore, altho must point out that my behaviour has remained and continues to be just about bloody superb!  (ish)

I have to say a great big thanks to you all for your kind messages and jolly sort of wishes things. We are still in the process of updating things here, but please bear with us...well actually its not me its the two webmaster type bokeys that need to stop being so lazy and get on and do it.....hehe...you know who you are! x

Ok...... now i have been asked to make an important statement, which of course i mean from the bottom of my heart .............. so here goes.....................

I am a lazy, balloon headed little bitch that needs to get her act together and start recognising that i have no value to anyone other than to serve as required to my Masters.

Phew...done ....i feel soooo much better now.

Ooops ....and another bit..........

i will stop making disrespectful comments in a pathetic excuse for humour. (tho u might and indeed i do find it quite funny at times <s> I will dedicate a little time each and every day to my blog type thingy, even if just to post how my behaviour has been on that day. i will adhere to all my rules of submission and in doing so continue to please and serve to the best of my ability.

Oks well i think that should just about cover that  and trust and hope this is acceptable and as requested.

right back to reality........lol.... (only joking x)

I want to say a great big thank you to Steve and  Master for all their patience, guidance and understanding during the past few months. I feel i have grown so much and hope i continue to do so, i feel very fulfilled in life as a general but more importantly, for me, feel finally awoken. That probably will make no sense to anyone lol but its from within. Thank you both from the bottom of my heart xxx

Now....... new years resolution thingys....they are just wicked.... mine being not a lot more spectacular than i had proposed to do every day anyway...cut down on drinking...well thats more of a rule put upon me  ...... stop smoking....blah blah blah..... well i did stop smoking for a few hours so at least i have proved i can do it ...... and tomorrow i will probably give up proper!

Oks i have to go now and complete my task for today in order to continue getting big gold stars

I shant say i will post again today..... but i will say i will try.

Seriously hope everyone is set for an abfab year. Blessings x

I have finally finished my Christmas shopping, well apart from bits of food and alcohol, im not allowed to buy the alcohol too soon as Steve is convinced i would drink it!..... as if! Perhaps i might indulge in the odd glass of Chablis every now and then and even perhaps a voddie and red rull but only usually at the weekends....usually Anyway i am on rationed amounts of just about everything at mo, courtesy of my wonderful Master (no, im not creeping, ws) I am on strict orders of how much i am allowed to drink, bar water which i can drink freely (how kind), my coffee quota is four cups a day which is what i am struggling with the most. My ciggy quota is 10 a day (nicotinel gum to hand) and my alcohol is meant to be weekends only. No probs!

Anyway my Christmas pressies are done, leaving me virtually bankrupt...yet again!, but i dont mind, i love this time of the year, i love the shopping, i love the crowds, the carols, the wrapping and the look on peoples faces when they open their pressies, i dont actually like receiving presents too much, i always tend to feel a bit sort of awkward and embarrassed. My Christmas tree is up and has been for approx two weeks, i bought a 8 ft one this year which was a bit foolish because my room has low ceilings and can only fit 7ft 6inches..... so its got a lovely bend at the top of it and no room for a fairy (tho i do think Master or Steve would look rather fitting perched upon the top of my tree), it has however got a lovely pentagon at the top of it. Its decorated in gold and cream this year and my pressies under the tree are all in matching paper! I am just soooo bloody organised i have even amazed  myself . So anyway thats enough of my Christmas waffle that really has no interest to anyone but myself!

We are just about settled in our new house, tho it needs a bit of diy here and there to bring it up to our own tastes...... hmmm its got a great garage that i have already heard Steve discussing with friends about turning it into a Dungeon.... ok if needs must i shall go along with it. Actually i quite like the idea of some bound up bitch being punished.............

Oks a friend has just turned up...... a voddie is calling i think....back soon................BB

Its been a very hectic few months! Another house move, i do love moving!, packing and unpacking, out with the old and in with the new sort of thing, we havnt moved far, but just to a slightly bigger house. But that has taken presidence at the moment, with a few other things, hence my lack (yes i know yet again) of my posts. There have been a lot of 'ups' and a few'downs' in the last few months. On a personal note another close family relative died after a short battle with Cancer a couple of weeks ago, so things have been a bit unsettled. I have lost so many close people to Cancer in my life, as im sure have many others and everytime it kind of puts me on a health boost, yet in reality i know it can strike at any time to anybody, the latest  one a non smoker, non drinker, seemingly healthy and active person yet struck down by this vicious killer. ......................

Anyway thats the main down but moving on to the ups its been pretty exciting in a lot of ways.My daughter passed all her exams with flying colours and has recently been accepted by a solicitors firm for her first step of training to become a Barrister, it certainly hasnt been an easy journey so far and has been a lot of hard work but she 100 % deserves the success i am sure she will continue to achieve. I must now start to behave in a respectable law abiding manner perhaps............Erm...well maybe baby! 

 Steve has purchased quite a lot of 'equipment' and i am behaving myself as always <smiles>........... well most of the time. We both have a very good relationship with my Master and progress is...i feel...being made...tho slow it might seem at times to certain people <ws>

I am commited 100% to the path i am now firmly walking, tho i dont yet claim to be walking without assistance and am still prone to perhaps the odd stumble, my submissiveness is now more apparent than ever. I do of course keep my Masters feet firmly upon the ground but he is as happy to handle my little 'slips' as i am to deliver them .

We have spoken long and hard about my journal and he has obviously read all my previous entries and he is ok with me continuing to write my feelings, thoughts and views down as obviously it can only aid him in my journey with him and Steve.

Anyway...more on that later......... Steve and Stephen will soon be re-vamping DorsetBdsm, the response we are constantly receiving is amazing and we are all so grateful for your ongoing support. Please keep the emails coming, it really is great to hear from you. Myself and Mimi tend to take a backseat in the design and running of our site other than to say 'ooh thats good' or 'lovely dear' or occasionally 'get on with it!'... (obviously the latter results in consequences) ..... I have actually decided that i do like the word 'Consequence' ...ok just a bit of useless waffle there.

Ok ...duties call..... i will be catching up with my journal tonight, lots to write.

Blessings........... Kiri

Hellooooooooo to all, its been ages since ive had the chance to dedicate any time to my journal or indeed to our site, we have moved house...yet again....lol...and have been getting settled etc and generally dealing with the hectic hassles of everyday life,...well thats to say that most others around me kind of deal with things whilst i just sort of bumble along in my own little world, smiling at all, signing here and there and generally doing as im told...well ish! <smiles> Anway we are soon going to be revamping this whole site as we have lots of new stuff to include and we are building up a pretty impressive community now with lots of new members every month....... and on that subject some important news............

The previous contact details for membership inquiries is no longer valid, could you please update your records accordingly. I have tried to send emails to all members but please bear with me if im a little slow! For any potential new members interested in joining our commuinity please use either the email adress supplied or the following number for immediate membership details...

Email..... inquiries@dorsetbdsm.com

or....... Dorsetbdsminfo@aol.com

For text details please text 'Dorsetbdsm' to 07858908810 and i will give you further details of membership address.

Please note that any calls made to this number by private/witheld sources will not be answered. Also please bear in mind that this is my own private number so if i get any prank calls or likewise i will merely return the compliment or reprt you!.... lol...bet you're scared! Finally please note that the above email addresses are not for contact of my journal but purely for membership or other general inquiries regarding Dorset Bdsm, for any comments regarding my blog type thingy please use the following email addy.

Shikirix@aol.com

Oks....that just about covers this amazingly important update, and keep those fingers doing the bookmark thingy as there will be lots more going on soon, i shall at least for now be endeavouring to submit at least one journal entry per day and take on board all your comments regarding my slight lapse lately

Oks am now going to do that feeding of my caffeine addiction thing.

Thank you mega loadz to everybody who has sent such wonderful comments, and also to those concerned as to my lapse.... but im back now, and alls well and im as playfully mischievous but in the most amazing submissive way ever..... ish

P.S..... Im quite a master at the kneeling thing now, can do approx 20 mins without even wriggling

I am more than pissed off with all this government shit going on regarding my CHOICE of lifestyle. I find it a gross invasion of my privacy. I am not talking child pornography, i am not talking beastality, i am not talking, rape, murder or any other crime, i am talking about the way i decide as an adult to live. I am not a weirdo or a pervert and yet if this government shit goes ahead that is indeed how they are perceiving us. To put even alongside the lifes of child pornography, i feel is a crime itself.... how dare anyone dictate to me what is right or wrong when it comes to my sexual life. Everything i do is consentual, if i have images on my hard drive of the lifestyle that i am into then fucking sue me, i also have images i have no doubt of some movies that i can go out to blockbuster and hire today, graphic violent images, murder, torture, abuse. So u could say it isnt real, who gives a fuck, most of the images i have are not REAL situations they are modelled scenarios, i am outraged that as a human being who commits no crime against another could possibly be scrutinised and penalised for living as i choose to live.  if these laws go ahead  then people, normal adults like you and i become victims, victims of the threatening behaviour of our fucking government.... our government who are full of honest, such upright citizens.... obviously we all know that is a crock of shit.

I understnad laws are brought in to protect the innocents, but that has fuck all to do with this lifestyle. We are CONSENTING ADULTS, no crime commited and yet that is our very liberty they will take away from us, turning us into criminals. Its shit, i am a good person, i do not break the law, i am a good mother, and have brought my children up to be respectful and law abiding citizens, i am not a rapist, a murderer, an abuser of any kind. I go through life in my own crazy little bubble that is safe, legal and hurts no-one. Yet if this goes ahead i could find myself imprisoned, locked away like a criminal, my family left in tatters..and for what?? for exercising my right of choice of my sexuality..... where is the fucking justice in that....

Best the government get out and remove every violent, graphic, sexual movie ever made..... who gives a fuck if its not real.... it cant be one law for one and another for another.... i wonder whether all the staff from places like blockbusters will find themselves behind bars.... after all they are SELLING  some sexual graphic and abusive/torturous films. Movies like Hostel, 8mm, and many many more that are available for us to watch. Another crock of shit.

lets take a guy or a woman who enjoys the rape scenario in bdsm play. They enjoy the images, and hey ho im one of them, the doms who take pleasure in giving pain, the subs who take pleasure in receiving it. What the fuck lets criminalise us all. Throw us in that seedy pot of real criminals. Lets ban these things..... but what if..... what if that guy who has been quite happy living out his fantasy along with willing people cant do so anymore, will it stop his urges? will it stop him? or will it force him out onto the streets to commit a REAL crime against some unconsenting person?

Maybe i am going over the top, maybe i am overly worrying, or maybe im just a person who feels like yet again the government are trying to crack down on our rights as human beings, turn the innocents into criminals and allow the real criminals of our country to roam free.

Its all a crock of shit.

Blimey, cant believe its been a week since i last posted, this last week has gone so quick, i guess because of other things going on in life i kind of put this in the background, kept meaning to post but something always cropped up..........and........yes to an extent i have just been a lazy bitch who couldnt be bothered lol! well even if i had of posted im sure a lot of it would have just come across as rambling waffles of a mad woman...hehe whats new there!

What a week it has been, the good the bad, the inbetween, the happy the piss offs....norm i guess,lol Altho bdsm is a massive part of my physical and mental life, it obviously has to allow for the normalities of life. I am still without a Master as such, altho i have spoken to many, its one of those im sure ill just know when it feels right. Steve presently is fulfilling all my needs along this path with the help of a couple of 'friends' ... altho they are all commenting on how they think i am taking  advantage of the fact that we are so close. I dont agree with that but cant be bothered to argue the case, i am sure that eventually i will find a Master worthy of me calling him Sir...... or perhaps just strong enough to make me do so <smiles>. Anyway this week has been a healthy mixture of allsorts, plenty of mischief, plenty of misbehaviour, plenty of showers, and quite a few spankings . High point of the week was definately my daughter collecting her exam results ...and passing with flying colours all of them... including 'A' in Hinduism???....... So all the hard work has been worth it and she's off to law college which im mega pleased about, not because of my own wants but because she is chasing her dream of becoming a Barrister and despite a lot of negatism from a few people she is proving she can do it. Personally i wouldnt care if she was a shop worker or cleaner as long as she was 100% happy. So there were celebrations all round there!

I tried 'Stella' for the first time this week, im not a larger drinker, i prefer wine or shorts but my son had a few mates over and they were celebrating an 18th birthday so i did the polite mummy sort of thing and had a drink with them, just 3 bottles later i was drunk!... fortunately in a happy sort of daft mood.... (have heard some real horror stories about stella)... however i can state that i hated it, it made me feel so bloated and left me with a headache resulting in me sleeping it off for an hour..... my sons mates now see me as a lightweight and as such i have faced the ridiucle....do i care...no not a bit, i just give them the 'look'.

I am generally feeling a bit run down at mo, not sure whether its tiredness or something like that, have no particular reasons for feeling like this and hopefully wont last for too long.

Speak regular with Dev who is becoming a real friend, i get on so much better with him now, and its great winding him up in full knowledge he cant do anything about it , he is happy with his subs altho apparently one of them is playing him up a little <good girl>

So that about covers a quickie post of the last week.... and yes i will be doing the c.v thingy esp now Dev has said he doesnt think i have the intelligence to do one! <arse>

I think i need a large room, a whip, some torture implements, a sadistic ish type person ...and me

Sighs!

Blessings (and thanks) Kiri x

Am feeling better now. Am not feeling so sort of irritable, feeling a bit mischievous but thats cool, i like that. Have spoken to Dev today, gave him hell <smiles>, he has challenged me to meet him and say to his face what i said on the phone! Hmmm. Difficult one.If i dont go i'll look a wuss, if i do will i have the nerve to say to his face....... lol........ i dont think so somehow! i wasnt nasty to him or anything, just sort of jokey as i am, a bit sort of windy up. Well actually its not a difficult one really, altho normally i wouldnt refuse a challenge, under the circumstances and with full knowledge that he has two subs now i think its best i dont, im not wussing out, i wouldnt do that, im just doing what i thinks best, and i know Dev will understand that coz he's a super cool guy <sometimes>

Anyway.... i have recovered from my lack of sleep and have forgiven Steve.... mainly because i have no choice,lol and i know if i push my luck he might redden my arse cheeks, a spanking i can just about cope with but anything else i dont want ...not today......well when i say anything else...i really could do with a few hours of dungeons n things, but that isnt going to happen! So i will, for now, settle for what i get and hope it includes a nice glass or two of wine later.

Had a lovely chat today with a dommy type blokey via instant message, no plans to meet or anything like that, but just an interesting chat about Doms in the general and the dom/sub scene. It makes me crave so much what i know i can be. But at the same time crave the rebelliousness that goes with it. I guess i have to accept i am...as many others.... a bratty sub, and i guess that makes it a lot more difficult to find a Dom who is not only able but willing to take me on board. But i cant change, well i can change but it will be for the right one, and even then i am as i am to a certain extent. I hate labels as such but am rapidly learning from those who i have spoken to and who know me that a bratty sub is indeed a label apt for myself. Infact i quite pity the Dom who ends up being my master, he will find it very difficult to cope with i think. Steve thinks i am a complete wuss. he mocks me sometimes for being all mouth. You think he of all people would know!

I think i might write a sort of c.v thingy in my next post,lol...just a kind of jokey thing that will amuse me if no-one else.

Hmmm mind now doing that thing...................

Annoying monday mornings!, whats the point of them other than to cause distress to each and everyone of us! Had a mega late night last night in the false knowledge that i could have a lay in of sorts, what a load of balls that turned out to be, got woken at 6, yes 6!...by Steve who decided just because HE had to be up early for an appointment, i had to be up to!, inconsiderate arse! My eyes have only just started to focus, my coffee intake is at its maximum, and i feel a bit ratty and sort of irritable and basicaly just monday moodiness i guess. It wouldnt have been so bad if id been woken with a coffee and perhaps a little bit of 'use', but i got woken with an abrupt and rude 'get up and make the coffee'!! I did stomp, i did sulk, i did make the ocffee but very very reluctantly and to make matters worse when i placed it down on the side to give to him i placed it in a sort of slammy way and ended up spilling half of it.... no HE didnt clear it up, i bloody did, and then i had to make HIM another one!...whilst being half a sleep still, no consideration whatsobloodyever. AND he went off not happy at MY attitude!! Bloody men! So i have probably had about 30 mins sleep all night, well actually about 4 hours sleep which is still ridiculous!...granted it is my fault i went to bed so late so a little bit of thought would go along way! Sometimes i have an overwhelming urge to pin Steve down, tie him up, stick needles in his nipples and balls and then have him severely 'done' by some brute of a man or even myself with a great big unbearable killer strap on! hehe..... obviously i wouldnt and couldnt put its a great thought in theory! Hehe suffer arse! I am writing this in full knowledge that he will at some time read what ive written and probably react on it and make my life hell, but right at this moment i really dont care less! I am bloody tired! Well im not tired now but the point is i am now irritable because of his inconsideration, i could have had at least another 4 hours sleep! Even last night or early hours of the morning he was an arse, i offered him my body to use at his will, he declined <arse, arse, arse> and then once i was asleep decided to use my face to relieve and empty himself on! Anyway i dont like bloody mondays at this particular time.

Saturday night saw the start of x factor again, hilarious, i cannot believe how some people actually believe they can sing, and look so disappointed when Simon informs them they cant!, i myself sing all the time, but in full knowledge im not quite as good as Shakira or similar. Im good but not THAT good, i would die of embarressment if i ever had to sing to an audience or even in front of people i dont know! However.... perhaps for a chance to be abused <be it verbally> by Mr Cowell perhaps i would! That bloke just does that thing. I believe in his private life he is probably a right deviant, probably ties his girlfriend <witch> up and abuses her daily! Well at least in my mind he does. Anyway Mr Cowell is a frequent visitor to 'my world'!

I am still Domless, i have had had such a hectic weekend i havent even had chance to answer any memos or mails <sorry>. Oh and by the way DEV, haha very funny...not! Right........... now to something serious that has pissed me off a bit..... i had an email from a made up addy as conveniantly the name has been wiped so i cannot reply, accusing me of being 'greedy and selfish' stating that i am selfish for wanting another Dom when i have Steve, and a lot more besides that i shant repeat! Now altho i think it might perhaps be a wind up <mimi?> id like to set the record straight.... i am not greedy, i am not out to get what i can without regard to Steve, this is something Steve and I have decided together, Steve encourages it ALL the way and supports both myself and MAster. Infact he himself has spoken to a couple of Doms in the last week and always has phone contact with them. This is a path Steve and i walk together and one we are very happy to do, if it is a problem for anyone then get a life. I do not lie to anyone , if i speaking to a Dom i am straight with him and tell him about Steve, it has never been a problem for a genuine Dom type blokey and they are happy and willing to speak to Steve at anytime. I am not looking for an emotional commitment, i have that, i am not seeking an affair, i am merely seeking a master!!!!!

Anyway im now going to make myself another coffee and have a ciggy, then perhaps i shall find somebody to annoy and take my irritability out on! <smiles>

Blessings......... Kiri

I will soon be in fantasy bliss. Simon Cowell is back. Simple as!

have had a real lazy day today, not done much of anything, except drink coffee, shower and nurse my wounds............. well not wounds exactly but bruises caused by a rather nasty Dommy type blokey!.......... well actually he isnt nasty but he was to me last night . Had a great night, had friends over and myself and Mimi were on top form of mischief causing. Mimi was allowed to have a drink, as was i, and we soon became giggly and annoying females!.... but it was all taken in good cheer, Steve and Stepehn were fiddling around on the web, and later we all sat and shared drinks while discussing bdsm type thingys, i really enjoy just chilling out with a drink and having quite deep conversations , its great to get others views, esp Stephens as he has been a Dom for so many years. He unleashed a bit of a telling off on me for a view things regarding my 'attitude' to Doms <stomped feet> which basically led to myself and mimi jokingly teasing him..... mimi is preggers so Stephen decided i would take the brunt of his frustration, personally i think this was already planned beforehand with steve anyway.... Stephen has a very good spanking hand and took delight in pulling me over his knee in front of Steve and Mimi and delivering one of the hardest spanks i have had.... to begin with it wasnt too bad, but instead of him easing up he did it bloody harder and harder, god knows how his hand must have felt because my arse was on fire, the hardest thing tho was trying to keep my composure in front of Steve and Mimi ...not to give them the satisfaction of me squirming in obvious discomfort too much....then Steve decided to deliver his own, he spanked me bloody hard on my already sore and bruised arse. I was fuming, i was bloody doing my nut, well i wasnt but i was in my head.............................

Finish this after X Factor, lol

Blessings...Kiri

Morning to all...... it has been raining, thundering and lightening a good part of the night. It was wicked, i dont have curtains up at my window, just kind of two voile panels, the reason is that i love to lay in bed at night watching the stars and moon. A lot of the time it is obscured by clouds but on a clear evening its so cool to see the stars, kind of comforting... esp my wishing star that often looks down on me. So last night early hours of the morning more...i lay there watching the lightening literally lighting up the sky, it was a wicked sight and cleared my head.....it woke Steve up, or perhaps i did lol... and we had a couple of cups of coffee and chill.... kind of night i love, simple maybe but kind of fulfilling.

Went out for a meal yesterday evening, just family, but its good sometimes to get everyone together and have a bit of a bash.... and i am always on my best behaviour when around family members,lol...altho my children know vaguely of my path and are chilled about it, other relations particulary the older ones would have a fit! Its funny tho sometimes i wonder if they ever felt like i do when they were younger, its so easy now with the internet ect to make contacts but in their day, life was so very different....well society on the whole was....but inside....in their hearts ive no doubts there were many people yearning for the lifestyle that we are now able to participate in as virtually norm. I feel sorry for them in so many ways. But then i guess that argument can go on for ever, with each generation life gets so very much....well i dont know whether its easier but certainly opportunities are available.... even now at my age late 30's i can think sometimes if only i was born ten years or twenty years later, my god i would have taken advantage of everything that is available and basically acceptable these days. But thats life and perhaps in my next if i am lucky enough to have the same needs and wants then i shall take full advantage of opportunities.... or maybe i'll just spend my afterlife as a ghost perving at all the bdsm clubs n things

Anyway....meeting with Stephen and Mimi later as Stephen wants to go over a few things with Steve re Website, so hopefully mimi and i can be total pain in the arses <smiles>. Mimi isnt drinking because she's preggers and Stephen has banned her from alcohol and ciggies.... so the poor bitch will just have to watch me enjoy mine, hehe...altho Stephen did allow her two glasses of wine the other night so maybe baby...Im trying to get mimi to write a journal as her lifestyle is so very much more 24/7 and i feel it would be a great read but Stephen ....at the moment.... isnt allowing her to do one, lol.... i think he is put off by reading some of the things i write when i go off on one...and mimi has worse hissy fits than i do..<i love her,smiles> but tonight we'll do our nagging until hopefully he agrees. ........seriously tho they are one of the nicest couples i have ever known and i love them both to bits ...well...... ish!....and i cant wait till the mini mimi arrives, god help them if it has its mothers stubborness and its fathers metality <probably be quite dim> hehe...just kidding. x

Had some sad news yesterday.... Steves cousin who has battling against cancer lost her fight. She was one of the lovliest people i have ever known, so happy go lucky, and such a fighter. She was diagnosed with cancer approx 4 years ago at the age of 46, lung cancer, she was given 8 weeks to live. She had 6 children, the youngest being 8 at the time... she had treatment, and remained positive throughout it, she lost all her hair and gained so much weight through steroids but to look at you would never know she was a woman givena death sentence. When steve and i first got together she did so much for us, gave us a home, looked after us, stood by us despite what other people were saying, when we moved back to Bournemouth they moved down also so that she could be with Steve, they had grown up together and she thought of him more as a brother. Anyway....everyone was thrilled when she got told that her cancer had gone into remission approx 3 years ago, and i remember so clearly her turning up and she was so happy, singing karaoke til early hours of the morning, her family were so proud of her. Unfortunately it was short lived, she then got diagnosed with a brain tumour and had to undergo another course of chemo. Again lost all her hair, and it made her so very ill this time round, she was sick, went to a shadow of her former self, yet i have never known anyone as brave as her, she always had a smile....deep inside she must have been suffering so much but never really showed it. She had her 50th birthday a few months ago.... lung and brain tumours in remission....then she started losing the feeling in one of her legs, she was diagnosed with spine cancer, the most agressive form of cancer and was given weeks to live. She lost her sparkle, she couldnt walk and within two weeks had lost the use of her legs and arms, she had also lost her will to live, she was so tired. The last time i saw her she was propped up in bed heavily sedated with morphine, couldnt move, couldnt really talk...her eyes were somewhere god only knows. Steve said his goodbyes, i dont know if she realsied he was there, she seemed to. She died. I am only glad that her suffering is now over, i am glad she is free and probably looking down at us smiling. I am sorry for her family , for her children, but they are strong and they will all cope. The last few months have been hell for them and so hopefully after their initial mourning period they can pick themselves up and start living again. To me, death is never a final thing, we are merely passing through...a door closes as another opens..... anyway thats my beliefs.

Blessings ... Kirix

Its bloody freezing, dull, wet, grey, cold, yukky, anti bbq weather! Normal summer here in the uk then! Am only on my first cup of coffee, so mega needing caffeine hit.... have been up for hours and had to drink tea! It just didnt do it for me.... had run out of coffee...again.... thought about going to shop to get some but its soooo damn cold and rainy. So had to wait until i could send somebody to the shop for me! So now...finally.... 3 hours later coffee in hand! Pheeeww!

Was up till 3...couldnt sleep.... have so many restless nights lately, kind of just getting used to having little sleep now, but my energy levels drain rapidly in the evenings.... fortunately red bull is usually at hand chilling in my fridge ... Sat up last night watching normal rubbish on t.v for a while... then decided to attempt self fisting again. Couldnt do it, knuckles are so damn annoying! So settled for a bit of mind travel and some serious finger action. This kept me simmering until i decided i ought to give Steve a 'rude awakening'... so worked him 'up' with my mouth and tongue until he was standing proud and wide awake! Didnt go exactly as i planned or hoped for but i guess it served me right for waking him, he at least took his relief whilst his hand was wrapped hard in my hair forcing me hard and rough to swallow him. I asked him if i could have one of my 'toys' <he now has control of these> and he said no and that i should go to bloody sleep! Arse! <smiles> So i reluctantly did so  tho tossed n turned a bit until my mind could settle into a dark deviant place.

A few hours later im awake again listening to the rain pounding down outside....its funny but theres something really comforting for me listening to heavy rain.... weird eh!

Yesterday was a funny old day, periods of being rushed off my feet n not able to find my mind....then periods of peace where boredom set in almost immediately. Am having really good chats with Dev lately, i guess no pressure, just lots of good unbiased advise. He is very pleased and content with his present TWO subs <greedy> and im so happy for him, bless his little cotton socks...that cover up his horrid blokey feet.

Have had a few chats with Doms and have spoken quite a lot to a Domme type bitch <hehe only joking>, but im really not in a rush tho at times i really miss the buzz and 'feelings of having a master to please ...well not tha i actually pleased a lot...but i know what i mean...sighs...im doomed. I have spoken to a couple of Doms that have been in their 20's and early 30's.... but its just something my mind cant accept...i know it might sound weird, but it has to be an older Dom or Domme, it just wouldnt feel right otherwise which would be no good for both him/her and myself. So for now i am just an unwanted, unneeded, un trained, unbroken, waste of a submissive . Fortunately i have Steve who is well apt to deal with little ol me and all i bring....well probably he just sees me as a piece of meat he can use whenever he wants and do whatever he likes to!............ abfab

Ok waffle over............ coffe cup empty

Blessings to all...........Kiri x

HAve only woken up in the last 30 mins, had a quick shower, now on my second coffee.... am seriously feeling the effects of not having enough caffeine in my system, feel drained and bit of a head ache.... feel sort of eyey...... nothing a few mugs of coffee wont sort out tho hopefully. Hate feeling like this, feel like half a day wasted,lol...my own fault, was up until about 4 a.m , nattering to people...well actually it would have been 2ish but then i decided to spring on the bed and wake Steve up, who wasnt initially too pleased as he had to be up at 6.30 as he had an earlier appointment! <smiles>... so he spent the next two hours 'punishing' me for my inconsideration, hehe. I had thought about just staying up and waking him at 6.30 with a coffee but tiredness got the better of me, theres nothing like a good spanking and some serious abuse to tire me out,lol. So now the results are i ache, my nipples a bit tender, my arse cheeks are red and caffeine withdrawal,..... but it is all worth it

Had a wicked mind walk last night, well actually early hours of the morning lol... will write more later, for now need more coffee. Hope everyone is well and having an abfab day.... Blessings....Kiri

No i didnt, i couldnt, i tried but it just wouldnt do that thing....as in slip back to my wonderfully weird dream. Perhaps i tried too hard.... maybe tonight, maybe tomorrow, who knows, but i have the feeling it was relevant to something and as such it is a place i will return to, <fingers crossed>. I did have some sort of sexual dream but i only remember a very small part of it and it certainly wasnt deviant or anything like that............ omg!!!... am i turning normal??? <panics> hehe..never. Anyway was awake quite early this morning... and all by myself!.... Steve had an early appointment so was up and out whilst i was still doing the z's thingy. Unfortunately not good........ meant i had to come down and make my own coffee which i did so with a great deal of muttering and moaning to myself . Coffee in hand, ciggy nearby time to check my mails and memos and thingys and do some reading. Thank you for the e-mails, im sure i have replied to all of them....if i have missed one out please dont send me an abusive email because it makes me just run and hide!!... thats you Mr Sparks! lol..... also altho i might appear online 24/7.... i have a lot of ims in my im catcher thingy, i am not being ignorant but altho my status is shown as online, often i am not actually on my computer, it might just be on in background downloading things..or i might be on websites doing things in which case i get flustered if i start having ims to answer as its too much for my brain to deal with <smiles> i can only handle one thing at a time..........well........... u know what i mean . So apologies if i appear to be ignorant at times - i truly dont mean to be.

Have decided that i am going to get my nipples pierced and possibly clit, tho im as nervous as hell and might quite possibly do a runner before its actually done,lol..... i am going up to a Mancheste club in November and so am hoping a couple of medical play people that i have spoken to will help me out on this one, tho will warn them in advance that i might play up a bit when it comes down to it..... infact i think possibly i could be due a full medical <smiles>... so if your reading 'Dr' please book me an appointment...... bloody hell tingles and butterflies at just typing that. Heavy sedation might be required,hehe....... takes big puff on ciggy!

............. I feel like i could do with a severe spanking.... well perhaps 5 or 6 which is quite severe in my books , and perhaps being on my knees while being made to pleasure my Dom/Domme..... perhaps with nipple clamps attached but only the really light clampy ones, possibly just a plastic peg or two....... possibly with butt plug in place............

Right off for shower, get ready and blah blah blah,lol................. blessings to all...Kiri

Ok have recovered from my dream tho still intrigued to know what would have happened next and the bearing of that bloody song.... am hoping to put myself back into the dream tonight tho. Keep trying to analise it... but cant... esp the bit where it was a hand.... couldnt see the face or body ..... must be a reason for that .......... oh well hopefully i will find out tonight.

It is so cold down here in the south i have actually got goose pimply thingys, its sooo windy, so much for predicted August heat wave!. So have heating on much to the annoyance of everyone around me! haha suffer!!! <smiles> Hve had such a hectic weekend, people in and out infact i was beginning to think my house had become the local weirdo drop in centre! Fortunately this afternoon has been quite chilled and im feeling quite relaxed........................ having said that i am now starting to feel a bit restless mentally. Had a long chat with Dev earlier and its great having him as a friend and i guess in some ways an advisor <ill probably take more notice of him this way> <smiles>. He has however replaced me already with somebody who caters to all of his whims! ....tsk... hope she gives them both hell ! Im still masterless tho it hasnt been long and Steve is filling the position nicely at the mo <when i let him, smiles> . Am seriously considering the possibility of a Dommey type bitch <ish> instead of a dom.... Steve thinks a Dommy bitch would have me quivering within 5 mins  hehe bring it on.... well actually no dont,lol. Its just something im pondering over, and weighing up pros and cons sort of thing. For the meantime i am amusing myself how i do, fortunately my mind is capable of giving me mega buzzes....so im kind of relying on that ....and taunting Steve a little when needed <smiles> Have got a few friends within this scene now so im now in the position where i can watch the Doms punishing their subs and have a good snigger at it <whilst winding them up a little> Its amazing actually seeing the way one of my friends has changed so much, she used to be so bratty but she really has tamed down volumes... much to her Master's pleasure..... she's still the same girl but just living as she has always wanted to live and im so pleased for her, its been a long road for her and taken a while for her to find the right one but she did eventually and she's so happy........obviously it doesnt stop the bitch from rubbing it in to me but i can easily get her into 'trouble' hehe.

Anyway ..... its a bit hot with this bloody heating on....so refreshments are called for.......... hmmm who can i get to make it......am thinking of a bargaining thing...ill turn the heating off if somebody makes me coffee <smiles> might work...if not i'll sulk!

Blessings..... kiri uncollared

Bloody hell i had the weirdest and i do mean the weirdest of dreams last night. I was in a dungeon type place, it was black... with just a few candles burning. I was led in..gently by my hand.. and i had a great feeling of anticiation... and the thing is i couldnt see who was leading me, i couldnt see his face, just the hand kind of gently pulling me, and the song........ over and over... 'Natural born killers' by Leonard Cohen. It wouldnt stop it just kept playing and felt like it was 'in my head' And as i walked forward into this large room... there were other people and they just all turned round and stared at me... they stopped doing what they were doing and they all just stared like i was a stranger in an outback pub. It was so scarey and weird, i could feel their eyes on me..like they were looking into me...and i just looked down to the floor to avoid eye contact and the damn song got louder in my head. then i was led to the end of the room and my wrists were chained above my head stretching my arms to the ceiling, my ankles were also chained apart. The the 'hands' placed a large and heavy collar around my neck, it was so heavy and it was cutting in but i didnt make a single sound, i strained to see faces but it got darker, i couldnt see anything, could hear whispers, moans and that damn song..over and over. I felt trapped, i was scared, yet i had a strange feeling of 'knowing this was my place'....ok lol i said it was weird. I waited .... nothing.... i could see outlines of people making the most of the dungeon and its contents.... and i waited.... i felt intensely charged up, a real ache and yearning....and then people started laughing... song still playing..... i looked down at the floor, didnt dare look up, no faces, just sounds.... somebody stood before me....no face...but could feel the breathing on my face...could hear it..... i waited.... closed my eyes...loud in my head natural born killers song... then stinging to my face ...my face slapped so hard ...it jolted me... i wouldve lost my balance if the chains were not holding me in place, i made no sound, i didnt look up, eyes still closed.... and more came......each one causing my body to pull against the chains... so hard... endless.... both sides of my face .... i felt like i was slipping into some sort of dreamlike state... my head dizzy... yet still that bloody song over and over.... i could taste blood.... my lip was bleeding.... my eyes were watering...yet i made no sound......i looked up... a flame.... coming towards me... just a hand...no person..... a white glove.... a rubber glove..... i closed my eyes and waited...... and i felt the most amazing yet intense burning as hot candle wax dripped down upon my nipples... covering them....it seemed to last for ever.... yet still i made no sound and still the song played...louder... taking over my thoughts.... i couldnt concentrate on anything, my mind was all over the place... pain subsided into an odd throb between words of song.... my eyes tho closed were watering, the taste of blood still on my tongue... i felt like i was choking ...yet i wasnt....choking on the words that wouldnt stop, ..... yet my ache deepening.... i opened my eyes....head down...through the candle light i could see my nipples and breats were covered in deep red candle wax.... it looked like blood.... and then laughter again... i looked up... and another hard slap crashed again my face,... shaking me.... eyes open but nothing just darkness, and the damn song...tho distant... yet i needed that song... it was getting fainter and fainter.... but i followed it....my mind chasing it.... like i was being pulled towards it....

Then i woke up! That was it.... i woke up..... at first i didnt know where the hell i was and the song was still fresh in my head.... i wanted desperately to go back...but i couldnt.... my face was wet.... and i had bit my lip.... and for a while i just lay in bed wondering what the hell that was all about, yet feeling a real sadness at not being able to return there.Bloody hell, how weird is that!. It seemed so bloody real.... every little thing about it... and i so badly wanted to know what happened next, now i feel like ive missed out! My ache was and is very real... my wetness speaking volumes for the intensity of my dream.

So now im sat drinking my coffee, typing this and listening to Natural Born Killers that i have just downloaded, funny thing is i know the lyrics off by heart now.

I could go to the shower and take relief.... i could go and wake Steve.... i could get my 'toys' out...... but the funny thing is i would feel like i am cheating.... like i am depriving myself of what its meant for, like it wouldnt be enough..... oh bloody hell.... bloody dreams.

Right i shall go make another coffee.... have a ciggy.... and listen to Leonard Cohen .... Blessings to all on this bright and breezy Sunday Morning......... Kiri x

Bloody hell, cant believe how fast the last 24 hours have gone, admittedly i have spent a great deal of it in bed <smiles>...well i did have some serious sleep to catch up on. Any thoughts of an early night last night went straight out the window when friends arrived sporting a bottle of vodka! We had intended doing a bbq but the weather is so shitty at the moment, we tried sitting out even to have our drinks but far too chilly, having said that i quite like it, its great being able to go to bed without 50 thousand fans on me trying to cool me down, however i do miss the hourly showers <smiles> So anyway had an enjoyable chill and a few voddies which left me in a really tipsy and happy mood..... unfortunately it also brought to the surface my mischievous and deviant streak. So i couldnt help but to play up a little, fortunately the friends we were with share our 'interests' and so are quite understandable of our path. I took great delight in winding my friend up and generally getting her to join me in my mischievous quest to wind our blokeys up. It isnt done ever in a nasty way its purely a jokey sort of thing.... and they love it <ish>. We do not interact sexually with these friends, we are not into swinging or anything like that and so no sexual contact took place or would take place. This is so very much more, and anyone who shares our bdsm interests will understand that. Anyway the end results were as i hoped <smiles>  We all went for a walk and ended up at a field near us, to which we playfully taunted the blokeys into giving us some well deserved spankings.... it actually stung a lot more in the open air! To finsih it off Steve took me to a tree and pushed me against it and brutally 'took'  me, while telling me what a dirty little 'slut' i was. 

So eventually into bed around 3ish, tired and content!.... woke up about 10ish today feeling amazingly wicked following a dream i had in which i fulfilled just about every fantasy i have, needless to say i was so bloody wet a shower was a must <smiles>

Have now had about 50 cups of coffee..... and about to scream for another............hehe it worked, my daughter has taken pity on me ....well actually she's just creeping round me because she wants to borrow yet more money!! But i shall let her suffer and generally cater to my coffee whims for as long as i can

Have had a couple of mails from dommy type blokeys, but have to stress i am in no way going to rush into this, im definately not looking for a master who is younger than i, ideally for one 45 and up, its just a younger one wouldnt feel right to me along this path and hope dommy blokeys can understand. I have continued to practise my kneeling for Steve...im really starting to master it quite well  i acn now manage about two minutes without even wriggling or fidgeting... skill!

Am going to look over a few profiles today on ic and see who is about and maybe drop a few memos if i get chance, ideally i want to just talk for a while and i will be able to tell if we 'click' or not....so watch out all you dommy type blokeys u might be faced with your worst nightmare <smiles>

No rush........ see how things go, i also had an email from a Dommy type bitch much to Steves delight, hehe.... she seems 'well equipped' to 'deal' with me,lol.... but im not sure yet, have added her to my buddy list tho as somebody else i can wind up at times <smiles...only joking>

Anyway.... ive got a bit of a headache coming, so going to down some pills and chill for a while and contemplate my situation.

Hope everyone is having an abfab weekend.... blessings to all.........Kiri x

Im wide awake and have been for some time, have been to the shops already, infact was there waiting for them to open their doors at 6a.m so i could get milk and bloody cat food!!! Afterall nothing like a hungry pussy!... well actually there is... try 6 hungry pussies, 7 including mine! if i sound a tad disgruntled its coz i am!.... Had quite a late nighish, went to sleep around 2 i guess. Quite normal and sleeping better now the cat has taken her kittens outside!................however got woken up by one pussy making one hell of a noise and deciding she required my assistance to bring her.. yes her kittens back inside!!!.... so at around 3 a.m im stood in my garden making stupid pussy noises trying to entice 4 x 4 week old kittens out from under the bloody shed, meanwhile mother pussy watching me probably having a bloody good laugh in a meeowwy way! Eventually mum pussy decided she would drag them out and then promptly dumped them at my feet to carry upstairs because she couldnt be bothered to do it!!! So much for her bloody animal maternal instinct thingy! So by now Steve is awake as well wondering what the hell im doing in the garden at that time on all fours making stupid noises!!! Anyway finally got the kittens back upstairs and settled, only for my other pussy to decide she would treat them like mice and beat the hell out of them, menawhile mother cat still just sat watching ME deal with it! Jesus Christ what am i some sort of bloody pussy trainer or something <smiles>. So now i am wide awake , drinking coffee, bloody freezing which is probably just a sympton of severe lack of sleep, and meanwhile all the pussies are happily fed content and sleeping!!! Great! Perfect! am considering going up and just waking them all up for the hell of it and see how they like it! But i shant! Fortunately Steve has been making me cups of coffee so at least i am thankful for that, perhaps soon he will take pity on the last but most important pussy that needs feeding! <smiles>

So thats my great evening! At the moment i feel ok, but know at some point during the day i am going to go through that tired period so will prob have an hour or two to catch up otherwise ill be wanting to go to bed at some ridiculously early hour too tired for anything!

Anyway i may be tired, worn out, hungry, masterless, pityful, hopeless and doomed to a life of submitting to nobody except the person in the mirror.......... but at least i can look back and take compensation in the fact that i, single handedly not only put 6 pussies in their place but left them all feeling very content!

Blessings ....Kiri x

Im masterless, ive got nobody to pick on now! hmmmm.................looks over at Steve

Ok...back soon <smiles>