Its bloody freezing, dull, wet, grey, cold, yukky, anti bbq weather! Normal summer here in the uk then! Am only on my first cup of coffee, so mega needing caffeine hit.... have been up for hours and had to drink tea! It just didnt do it for me.... had run out of coffee...again.... thought about going to shop to get some but its soooo damn cold and rainy. So had to wait until i could send somebody to the shop for me! So now...finally.... 3 hours later coffee in hand! Pheeeww!

Was up till 3...couldnt sleep.... have so many restless nights lately, kind of just getting used to having little sleep now, but my energy levels drain rapidly in the evenings.... fortunately red bull is usually at hand chilling in my fridge ... Sat up last night watching normal rubbish on t.v for a while... then decided to attempt self fisting again. Couldnt do it, knuckles are so damn annoying! So settled for a bit of mind travel and some serious finger action. This kept me simmering until i decided i ought to give Steve a 'rude awakening'... so worked him 'up' with my mouth and tongue until he was standing proud and wide awake! Didnt go exactly as i planned or hoped for but i guess it served me right for waking him, he at least took his relief whilst his hand was wrapped hard in my hair forcing me hard and rough to swallow him. I asked him if i could have one of my 'toys' <he now has control of these> and he said no and that i should go to bloody sleep! Arse! <smiles> So i reluctantly did so  tho tossed n turned a bit until my mind could settle into a dark deviant place.

A few hours later im awake again listening to the rain pounding down outside....its funny but theres something really comforting for me listening to heavy rain.... weird eh!

Yesterday was a funny old day, periods of being rushed off my feet n not able to find my mind....then periods of peace where boredom set in almost immediately. Am having really good chats with Dev lately, i guess no pressure, just lots of good unbiased advise. He is very pleased and content with his present TWO subs <greedy> and im so happy for him, bless his little cotton socks...that cover up his horrid blokey feet.

Have had a few chats with Doms and have spoken quite a lot to a Domme type bitch <hehe only joking>, but im really not in a rush tho at times i really miss the buzz and 'feelings of having a master to please ...well not tha i actually pleased a lot...but i know what i mean...sighs...im doomed. I have spoken to a couple of Doms that have been in their 20's and early 30's.... but its just something my mind cant accept...i know it might sound weird, but it has to be an older Dom or Domme, it just wouldnt feel right otherwise which would be no good for both him/her and myself. So for now i am just an unwanted, unneeded, un trained, unbroken, waste of a submissive . Fortunately i have Steve who is well apt to deal with little ol me and all i bring....well probably he just sees me as a piece of meat he can use whenever he wants and do whatever he likes to!............ abfab

Ok waffle over............ coffe cup empty

Blessings to all...........Kiri x